Looks like a 2012 Baby

We have 19 days until our Due Date. We have had braxton hicks and False Labor pains over the past 3 or 4 weeks, and they hurt. Now that it's closer the contractions are more intense. I have been fiddling with the idea of a all natural drug free birth plan. But now that the contractions are worse I am doubting my decision. We tried to get into a birthing class but they are all past, so I have been doing a lot of research online and reading lots of baby books to try and get prepared. I realize that no matter how prepared I think I am, this baby is coming out no matter what. The how or when is more a matter of question but I think I am getting another lesson in patience.

We had our 37wk check up on Wednesday the 28th and they reported that again he is a big baby. The guestimated that he is around the mid 7's lbs or more at this point. She also checked me and I was 85% effaced and 1cm dialated. She didn't seem all to ecstatic about that so I didn't think it meant anything. However after asking around and reading up on what that meant, it means that I was closer than I thought. Mati could still stay in there for a while but she estimated no longer than 2 weeks. So after reaching the Full Term mark and knowing that I am progressing and these contractions are doing their job, I was super excited to try to help things along with good old at home methods of inducing labor. I know he should stay in there till he is ready but I took it upon myself to go for walks and even did some weird squat looking things while going up and down the aisle in Safeway. John just looked at me and laughed saying "what exactly are you trying to do, you look hilarious." At first he really didn't want me doing all that walking but today he changed his mind. He and I went walking around Walmart and then Top Foods for our grocery shopping and he had me going up and down each and every stinking aisle. When I started to complain he said, "Didn't you say you wanted to go walking." of course he said this with his adorable smirk. I just zipped my mouth and pressed on. My legs felt like Jello and Mati is still in his little home. Ugh...

Everyone has said that the last month has to be horrible so that you are really ready to get that baby out during labor. Right now I would embrace labor. I am so huge and every part of me feels like a walking water balloon. I started to retain water in my hands and ankles/feet a few weeks ago. When I walk for a bit or wake up in the morning my feet and hands look like blown up latex gloves. I would take a picture but I can't even close my hands into fists in the morning let alone hold a camera.

For Christmas John had saved up to buy me my very own sewing machine. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I can't stop doing all my crafts. I finished Mati's snuggle buddy blanket (made with a stuffed animal cut in half- not as morbid as it sounds.) And I finished 6 of the 9 burp rags. I have a few more blankets and things to put together but overall I am very happy how it is all turning out.

We opened our presents at our house on Christmas Eve and recorded the first ones we opened. We all knew what most of them were but we each had one surprise gift. We gave Ina some awesome diamond earrings which she loved, but first John and I had to play a prank on her. John wrapped the snowman she made out of a sock and gave it to her (it was a craft we did for girls night with the cousins). He told her it was a very expensive gift. Her response when feeling the wrapping was "how could something so squishy be so expensive." her reaction to actually opening the present was priceless. Her jaw dropped and she threw the snowman at John. He couldn't stop laughing.

My present was without any disappointment. The two of them bought me the two movies I have been holding out for. "Tangled" & "The Help."  I was waiting till they were on super sale to go buy them. I don't usually buy movies unless I love them and will watch them over and over again. When I opened them I was ecstatic! totally perfect and I didn't suspect them to remember I wanted them at all.

John's surprise I thought was amazing when I found it. It was this really cool multi-wrench with all these sizes built into one. As he opened it he just stared at it. The disappointment and confusion on his face was hilarious. I tried to convince him how awesome it was and he tried to hide how bummed he was. His attempt to lie and say he loved it was also very funny. In the end it was decided that I shouldn't buy tools without him. I think the wrench was designed for wives to buy for their husbands and then the husbands would never use them. But little ol' me who knows nothing about tools thought it was cool. Oh the memories we made. I love our family and how we are so close and just get each other.

And our newest member of our family has still yet to make his debut but we cannot wait!

Here we go now

Time is closing in with our due date approaching. We attempted to get into a birthing class but all the classes are past. I'm planning to get some videos and have my aunt Summer help coach me through some of it. I actually have a massage therapist who is going to work on my back after Christmas and she will come work on my back during labor. I have had very painful false labor contractions. I hadn't realized the contractions would go into my back. Scared me so bad when the contractions got 8minutes apart. I called my midwife and she told me to lie day and keep my feet up and drink lots of water. The contractions subsided for a while but they still are very painful. I have this unbearable pain in my right shoulder blade that contantly causes me pain and problems. I am going to go to the chiro because honestly I can't take it anymore.

Now I'm trying to create our birth plan. Not sure all the details but I do know John will be there and we are going to have Summer call everyone so that she can be the one to notify everyone. This baby will be coming one way or another.

Our home is slightly smaller with JT moving out. Ina now loves her own room and the dogs love it to. I'm sure there is more to tell but my shoulder/back hurts too bad.

Turkey time or no turkey time

More updates! We are now 31weeks and 6 days. Wednesday is our 32nd week!Mati is so strong now that he almost hurts me each time he kicks or rolls around. I keep expecting to see a full foot impression when I look at my belly. I am so used to this mountain I am carrying in front of me I sometimes wonder if I will ever have a tummy smaller than this. I can't really remember much different now. I popped out so soon that now I barely notice just how awkward I look trying to get up off the couch. Today John and I went to the dentist and as I got out of the chair in my shuffle-slide-forward-thrust routine the dentist and the dental assistant started to move forward with their arms out in case I fell or needed help. It was funny actually. Some ppl make coments like "oh my gosh your so hug" and then they try to back track and say they were just kidding. Honestly I am huge but it's all good folks. My baby is healthy and happy in his spacious home. I try to help them feel less stupid by reassuring them I am huge but in a good way. People need a break sometimes. And then again some people need a slap in the face. But I guess it really depends on if I'm super hormonal that day.

This year John and I decided to try our hand at doing our own thanksgiving. We probably won't do a turkey since neither one of us like it: usually I do but right now any meat on a bone especially Poultry makes me gag. I'm excited though to try something else low key.

We are moving things around this week with moving JT my younger bribed back in with our mom. And moving Ina out of the living room and into the second bedroom with an actual bed and moving my office into the living room and then fixing our room so baby has space. I felt so clostrophibic not having space but I see good things in our future.

We did acquire a dresser for Mati and are now in the process of washing all his clothes and putting it all away! When I'm stressed I find it helps me relax. John keeps playing with Mati's stuffed animals and it's super cute. He can't wait to be a dad.

I need to start finishing up my crafts because in a few weeks I will not even attempt to be crafty. I'm slowly turning into a couch potatoe. No that I mind so much. So that's the scoop with us!

Lessons Learned from Roommates

I was thinking this morning about lessons I learned from my roommates in college. This was while I was refilling our soap dispenser and toilet paper basket. I had quite the medley of roommates. From those that became my family to those that I prefer not to remember and honestly cannot remember their names.

But I did learn several lessons:

• Pick your battles: Example- putting toilet paper on backwards isn't the end of the world. Or even not putting the new toilet paper roll on when you use the last piece. 
• Just because you bought something doesn't mean you will actually get to use it. I remember buying myself snacks in college and putting them in the fridge or in the closet and when I would get home from school they would be half gone already. 
• Shared space is SHARED. This means that it is not just one person's stuff that belongs there and its not just one person's rules. 
• Courteousness goes a long way. 
• Hiding things in your room is not always the best idea. My best apartment times were those that our things were shared. 
• Family dinners are very important. I have such great memories of my roommates and I sharing a meal together. Seriously felt like a family and felt so loved. 

I loved my shopping sprees with Emma where we would just go drive to IF and then spend money at the mall. Not completely proactive and didn't help me build good money management but oh we had so much fun. 

Sarah would make the best cookies of all time. She was always so much fun with her dinosaur loves and crazy singing rendisions in the bathroom

Erin using a dryer on her tacos! Sarah and Emma came to almost every Friday night Ballroom dance thing I was in charge of and would T-A-N-G-O with me.

Nikki and I laughing for no reason until we were dilerious and on the floor. I think we had skittle fights or maybe it was another kind of candy. 

Oh and I can't forget the chocolate factory. I got so fat off their chocolates and I would do it all over again.

Katie and her little mo-ped bike. Our crazy halloween.

Kaitlyn and her love of life and our music video! I seriously still cannot believe we made a video.

Marcy letting me watch all her FRIENDS DVD's and getting hooked. I still have the sweater you and Emma gave me for my birthday. 

My last apartment girls were the best way to finish off college and I learned so much from them. We had our Thursday Night Pizza night with Smallville. And sunday dinners. Alicia letting me drive her car since my little car died in Utah two days into school. So not legit. I loved having all our English Majors in one house. Katelyn and her positive outlook on life. Becky with her little skirts that could knock your socks off. Sandra and her bruised lips! Good times you guys. 

I loved college and all the memories I made. Now everyone is off doing their own thing but I still have those memories to hold onto. And the relationships that I made that will last are so special to me. Love you all!

The Count Down Begins!

I realized I have yet to update our blog in quite some time. So I am going to attempt to do it in a speedy manner to keep me from going without sleep. Sleep is something that I very much need a lot of these days. Now its the long stretch where I get to count down the weeks until our Due Date. Tomorrow we are 29 weeks which means that we only have 11 more weeks to go!!! That is so exciting to have less weeks to go than weeks that have passed. If that makes any sense at all then maybe you too are pregnant! haha or at least have been pregnant or know someone who is in the pregnancy-brain mode. I swear half the time now adays I dont make any sense. 

I get emotional now but mostly i am just super sensitive and irritated at people. Poor John has to deal with all my moods and is very patient. My back and hips hurt oh so bad now. It got so bad the other night that I actually started to cry. John was super sweet and rubbed my back to keep me from hurting so bad. Sleeping is another issue that I keep having. No position is comfortable and even using a pillow to keep my hips even doesn't work always. It does help if I lay on my left side and use a long body pillow to prop up my legs and then have john behind me to keep me from rolling too far forward or backward. 

Mati moves so much now adays and sometimes kicks so hard that I actually hurt. He likes to especially kick me hard in my right ribs. He moves around to the point that it looks like i have an alien in me. John likes to watch Mati kick me and see my belly move all around. It is quite exciting to say the least. John told me the other night while i was sleeping he came in and snuggled me and Mati kicked his hand so hard. He started to talk to Mati and told him to stop kicking mommy so I could stay asleep. Apparently Mati didn't want to listen and John got distracted and told Mati to give him High Five. So John would move his hand and then Mati would kick his hand. He is such a good dad. He seriously cannot wait for Mati to be here. At our last appointment he told me to go lay on the medical table and give birth to Mati because he didn't want to wait any longer. I actually had a dream the other night that I gave birth to a raisin.... so we will be keeping him in there to let him get a little fatter and cuter. 

Right now our house is quite full and with Mati coming in 2.5 months we are getting even more tight on space. John's sister Ina lives with us and now my brother JT lives with us. My oldest brother moved in with my mom and JT and him are best if they dont live in the same house. So JT is here as long as he needs. Honestly even though we are very crowded it doesn't feel as overwhelming as I once thought it would be. JT is very helpful and him and Ina get along great. 

Ina is still looking for a job and we are hoping that something will come through for her soon. She is startin school at Highline in January which will be so awesome for her. The bakery that John was working for is shutting down so he now is out of a job for the past 3 weeks and counting. We are really hoping for something for him to come through as well. We prayed about it a lot and decided that it will be best for John to go back to DI and finish up getting certified as a forklift operator and then go for his Welding Certificate. So now we are moving forward for a serious career instead of just a job. Its a blessing in disguise for John not  to be working at the bakery right now. It was very hard on him to work nights all the time and have no time for our family. He wasn't able to go to church with me because he would have to be sleeping and our scripture and prayer time was non-existant. It is so nice to have those things back.

John has been keeping busy helping with so much around the house. I dont know what I would do without him. Basically go crazy. 

I love my little family and all those that are adopted into it. So very grateful for all we have and all the support we have received from our family and friends. 

No More Nightmares

So when John worked nights I had nightmares every night. I would wake up in panic. And I would wake up at 3am terrified John wasn't there. Now that he got laid off he is home every night and gets to snuggle me. Voile! No more nightmares! I have no idea if I spelled that right but I am thinking it was close.

Mati is kicking so hard now that John gets to watch him kick. he asked me the other day to describe how it feels when he is kicking me. I have no idea how to describe it. I told him it was like a nudge on the inside of my belly. Sometimes it hurts but most of the time it is just like a muscle spasm. I love it. Except when I am trying to sleep. I swear this is when he decides to make mommy pay attention. let's just hope it isn't a precursor to what it will be like the first year of baby's life.

I really am on edge to start nesting. The baby shower should be in November and John says he is getting us a crib for the baby present. I am so excited! We have the baby clothes for a few months... we probably still need a ton more. We may have the baby's dresser soon. We have the stroller and carseat. John thought I was completely dorky for installing the carseat when we were only 25 weeks along. I drove around for a day with the carseat all installed just picturing the baby in the van with me.

I am so excited to be a mom it's unreal. I just want to hold our baby and take care of him. But until then I will just keep taking care of him in the way I can right now. I am already so much in love with my baby boy.

Say what Im a mom?

I have waited my entire life to be a mom. I remember playing with baby dolls, babysitting, and going to my aunts baby showers and just imagining what life would be like when I get to have my own baby. My friends would always joke that I was the mom of the group. It just is a part of me to act like "the mom." So at 17 when they told me I may never have kids my heart broke. Now at 23 I am pregnant with our little miracle. I remember telling John when we were dating that we may not be able to have kids naturally and we might have to adopt. He didn't quite understand and with his self assured nature told me that we would have our kids. He did eventually say that no matter what we would be parents whether biologically or through adoption. Every time my period would come I would feel heartbroken and down right helpless. I wanted my baby so bad. I wanted our baby. I wanted to see our kids with John's perfect smile and dimples. I just wanted our family. It took me a long time to come to terms that it doesn't always happen on our time.

We didn't give up but we stopped investing all our hopes into each month we tried to get pregnant. I swear everyone else around me was announcing their pregnancy and I felt more alone. And then there was May 12th. I didn't feel pregnant so much as I felt the need to pee constantly and my boobs hurt. I hadn't even missed my period. I had peed on so many pregnancy tests that we practically were keeping them in business. So when my aunt Summer persuaded me to buy a test I was very resistant to even attempt it for another 3 days. I didn't want to be let down again. She had barged in while I was still peeing on the stick and I barely had finished and looked at it when it showed I was pregnant. I was in shock but so happy.

Now there isn't a day that goes by, a moment even, where I am so happy and so grateful for our little miracle. Baby shopping is the highlight of my day. We recently got our stroller and carseat set and my dear friend Emma sent us a baby carrier. I feel like we are closer and closer to being parents and I just can't wait. I get excited every time I feel our baby move inside me. Like he is just as impatient as we are to meet him. We still have 15 weeks to go but I am just as excited and maybe even moreso than the first day we found out. At times I forget just how huge I look until someone mentions it to me or my clothes dont fit.

I was bothered by this alot and felt so fat. But now I just see it as a compliment. I have a cute baby bump that proves that I am a mom. I carry him out in front of me and I take good care of him. I think of him when I choose things to eat. I am always planning when I get to buy him diapers and onesies. I want to make sure that when he comes I have all my focus on him. He is the center of our world right now. We go to work 40hrs per week  to make our home ready for our baby. We make sacrifices for him so that he won't be without when he is here.

We want whats best for him. We want everything for him that we had and more. We started traditions last year for pumpkin picking and cutting down the christmas tree. We are going to make more memories and more traditions when he is here and we cannot wait. I can almost see him and I love him already so much. I can only imagine what that love will be like when he is here.

I love you baby. Mommy and Daddy can't wait to hold you and show you all the love this world has to offer.

Dr. Expert

Everyones the expert when it comes to pregnancy. My friend Spenser Adam pointed thus out to me at church. The very next day John and I went to grab some lunch and the man at the burger hoot asked what we are having and he said. "yup that's right. Looks like a boy." he then proceeded to use hand motions to show the difference between how it looks when you are pregnant with boys versus girls.

Seriously now people. If you don't have a vagina you do not know what you are talking about. And even then you still don't know what you are talking about because it's not your body or baby so just stop yourself before you start to explain how someone looks like they are having a boy or girl. And stop telling pregnant women that they are bigger or smaller than they should be. And above all else, refrain from rubbing the tummy. If you rub mine I'm going to make John rub yours.

I'm only partially over dramatic and the rest accurately dramatic. My prego friends and moms know what I mean.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind people being excited for us or asking questions. I just don't need someone else explaining my body to me. It's a mystery to us all ok. The fact that I have a little baby in me takes my breath away. Literally! He likes to kick me sometimes a little too much. We haven't come to terms yet on lettin mommy sleep. I guess this is just a preview of what's to come.

Yay for fall!

Decorating my home is one of my favorite parts about the fall. I tried to persuade John to let me get out the Halloween decorations today. I lost. But we compromised and now I get to buy a cinnamon candle and get some decorations for fall! And at the end of this month I can go halloween crazy!
Vollyeball season for the stake started which makes me sad I'm not playing and John happy because he loves playin frequently! And John starts a later shift and is switching days off so hopefully that means he can practice and play in the games/tournament. Mati actually is very active now and moves around a ton when we watch John play. John says it's a sign that Mati is going to be a professional volleyball player. I think it is in his blood so it could happen! Either way I know our kids will be there on the stage cheering on mommy and daddy. We will get to take turns watching the kidos.

I love that I am living the life I always wanted!

5months down!!!

So our one year anniversary is coming up and our big thing is getting our new car. We love our little black car but it's just not baby appropriate. We need a car that's bigger and can fit a carseat in it. And we really want it to be more sturdy. So we decided that we should probably trade in the black car for the Toyota RAV4. well at least that's our plan. We will just see ho it pans out.

Mom says we will have the baby shower in November. I'm so excited! We have a bunch of super cute outfits that we have collected over the past few months. I swear girl babies have more options but the boy babies get the sporty clothes which is what we r most interested in. Burlington has the best selection of baby clothes. I want to get a few layettes and pj's. And of course sports jerseys! I need to get going on the baby blanket and crib bumper. I think I need to get the crib first though. I don't want to make it too big or too small...

Anyone know if there are cute patterns out there fir baby stuff? Free patterns?

Getting ready for baby

I think i have now hit the emotional roller coster in my pregnancy. I cry all the time or at least I want to all the time. I'm moody and irritable. My husband is a doll to put up with me. I send myself to time outs. I don't want to snap for no reason. I'm usually very pleasant and happy. Hormones are not my friends these days.

Lately retail therapy has helped. Buying for baby is so much fun. We have a bunch of cute clothes, and I'm sure we will get even more in the next few months. I decided against more clothes until after the baby shower. Ok except for some baby jerseys and a sweat suit from champs and this way super cute baby jacket and maybe some little overalls... But then that's all. I need to go get the crib and carseat next. And the stroller! No way can I walk the dog without a stroller. And a baby carrier. And breast pump. Ok so there are tons of things to do and to buy. I guess I should start to plan it all out instead of hoping Mati is here already. Because obviously we r not set up for him yet. So much to do....

The midwife today reviewed the ultrasound notes at my appointment and said that Mati is developing perfectly! That's such a nice thing to here. I swear now I feel him move all the time. Oh the joys if pregnancy!

New Changes

So currently we r back to just one vehicle. It will certainly save us money on gas so I think it's a blessing in disguise. However we will need a second car by December before baby comes. So no we r doing research on which car to get. We will be leasing since initially the monthly costs are lower... Better to spend less and have more for baby. We r looking at Toyota since they have the best resale value and they last forever. We will need a bigger car with me baby John and Ina all in it. Then if we have john's folks move here soon we will need the space to. For now though we are focusing on baby and saving for him. We are not going to try to get his parents here right away like we planned. Our plans are always changing. Good thing I'm flexible! Lol. As far as the model goes, we are thinking of the CRV or highlander or 4runner depending on safety and price... So if you have any suggestions, we are all ears!

Good intentions gone south

The best intentions sometimes just blow up in your face. That's what happened today. I feel like I lost my closet friend when all I meant to do was help. How do you make sense out of the complete nonsensical? When someone tries to intentionally hurt you in order to get back at you for what they see as you hurting them...how do you push past that? I have an awesome husband who stands behind me and lets me know everything is ok. I'm so blessed with him in my life. I guess I just need to lean on him. Our little family and my friends are all I need. Oh I hope my son never goes through this...

Our baby boy!

I have a son! I swear watching the extra screen on the ultrasound was like watching an intense action film. I kept trying to figure out what the baby was. I had no clue what I was doing or seeing. Our son peed twice and kept moving around. He is stationed right on my bladder. I could have told you that without an ultrasound. And he even laughed! They got a really good view of his face and he actually laughed! It was the best thing ever... And last night I sang primary songs to our son. He is a very active boy. John couldn't be more proud and happy if he tried. My mom went out and bought a bunch of baby clothes. She is going to be such a good grandma!!!

Immigration, fees, and forms....

So as a family John and I decided to move john's parents up here from American Samoa. John's dad is a US National like John since he was born in American Samoa. So all we have to do is buy the airfare. His mom on the other hand is from western Samoa which is a completely different foreign country. So we have to do the whole visa and green card deal. What innate learned so far isn't very reassuring. There are plenty of forms to fill out and fees to go along with it. Not to mention wait time and possible rejection if we don't qualify. Everything is a little confusing. What little I was able to gather from various websites is that I wouldn't qualify as her sponsor. Apparently in-law status isn't grounds for sponsorship. John is a US National and one place said only US citizens can sponsor a parent. Which would mean John might have to gain citizenship before we get his folks up here. That's a whole different set of fees, forms, and a naturalization test. Basically he would have to learn US history that even I have no clue about. So more pressure on him which he certainly doesn't need. He isnt the type A personality I am and can compartmentalize everything and get every detail documented. And thank goodness to that because two Moriah's wouldn't be quite kosher. I still need to find someone to talk to about all of this to see which direction to take. I would really like to avoid getting an attorney. With a baby on the way I just don't see how an attorney would be feaseable. Having to choose attorney bills over diapers is not a decision I want to make. Diapers would win everytime. So now I just have more research to do. If anyone knows which direction to point me in I would be most grateful!

Counting my blessings... Namely one

We met more of john's family in Seattle today. I swear our Christmas lists keeps getting bigger and bigger! I love the relaxing on Sunday's. I just wish could be awake and around for more of it.
John and I are getting more and more excited about our baby. We find out the sex on the 31st of this month. When I tried to share that bit of info with my mother in law the translation didn't come out right. Apparently sex doesn't translate to gender like we use it here. So instead she heard that John and I were having sex on the 31st of this month.... Oops. John caught it tho and explained to her what I meant. So embarrassing. :/ and I'm sure John was not to thrilled if I literally was planning our bedroom life in weeks... Lol

On that note... I do believe I started to feel the baby move. At first I thought it might be gas or a muscle spasm. But I'm sure my muscles don't spasm like that. It feels to me like a little nudge. Completely adorable. I was told by my friend I'm that soon enough I will be bigger and get to see my tummy moving with the baby. Like a less Scary and more adorable version of alien. Now that will be awesome. John tries to feel it but no luck yet. Baby moves alot so it's hard o find the Exact spot to put his hand.
It totally melts my heart when John gets all excited when he sees a baby and espcially when he holds one! Man I can't wait! This has always been my dream. I never wanted to be president or a NASCAR driver or a ballerina. I just wanted to be a mom. And I feel so blessed to have a precious miracle.
When I was 17 the dr told me I may never have kids. And that was devistating. It was like my world crumbled. I literally crumbled into a sobbing heap outside my chemistry class. So this baby is a literal miracle. John and I always knew we would be parents one way or another. I'm just grateful I get to have the chance to carry my baby. Not everyone can be a mom this way. But I also known some of he best parents are ones who love their kids no matter what. There are plenty of unfit parents who take their kids for granted. As my dear friend Sarah would say , some of the best kids are the ones adopted by amazing people.

My list of grievances

Inspired by my dear friend Dara(which ps is a super adorable and unique name. Dara wrote a blog about things she was greatful for... Super cute. After reading it I went to the bathroom Yet again only to find that the toilet paper was gone and no one had changed it... Grrrr is all I could think at that moment. So since I am moody this will be my blog of annoying things that happen when u don't want them to.

1. Going to the bathroom and not having toilet paper.
2. Seagulls using you for target practice.
3. Forgetting important meetings.
4. Losing my keys (daily occurrence)
5. Hiccups
6. Sneezing and peeing my pants
7. Hitting snooze one too many times
8. Foot cramp
9. Daytime tellevision
10. Cold feet

I'm not completely heartless these are just things that annoy me...

Maternity Clothes!

So John bought me some maternity pants and a maternity dress the other day but I really needed more than just those two items to get me through the next few months. So my aunt Summer graciously let me go through her clothes and pick out some of the ones that were too big for her so that I could wear them. Now I have skirts and dresses and some pj's and even some pants! I am one very happy girl right now.

I was even productive last night and today. Last night I made my famous pasta salad and cheesy kielbasa. John loves that dish. It takes like 2 hours to make and prepare it all. The potatoes take the longest because you have to make sure they get cooked all the way through. After putting everything all together it turns out I didn't cook them long enough which sucks because I really wanted the dish to be perfect. John and Ina ate it nonetheless. I on the other hand opted to not try it out.

And tonight we made shake and bake chicken. Hopefully this means i wont have my family starving this week! heres to hoping I keep feeling better and up to doing this kinda stuff.

Irrational behaviors a psychology major makes.

So basically a month ago I tried to make my blog more private and email ppl the link to get the hook up in my life. turns out no one was able to use the links so no one read the blog. So if you used to read it and then suddenly felt jipped, I apologize. It was a technical error, not a Moriah doesn't like you deal.

I think I had the flu the past 4 days. I feel fine today and want to eat everything in sight and then some. I hated being sick. It was like morning sickness all over again. In fact I emailed my Midwife and asked them if it was normal. My aunt and her kids all had the flu so its just one of those things. John was so upset I was sick. While laying in bed with me on Sunday he decided that I am not allowed to leave the house anymore because he wont have my health and the baby's health jeopardized. I am pretty sure he knows how irrational that is because I get up and go when i please. But its cute to have him be over protective. I never had someone care about me or what I was doing like that before.

I was actually talking to a close friend the other night about how my relationship works. They were curious how we make things work. I had a hard time explaining it because honestly it just works. I know John loves me more than anything else and he would do anything to protect me and make me happy. And I would do the same for him. So even if he is having a man period and I am moody and pregnant we still get through those days and always end up snuggling. We aren't perfect and we have lots of time to improve our marriage but I never thought in a million years I would be so blessed to marry someone so compatible with me and really understand me.

He even listens to my jibber jabber when he can't follow anything I am saying. For example he asked me how  my visit went with my aunt summer and i proceded to give him a run down of our conversation about pyschodynamic and cognitive theory and how it applies to irrational beliefs. He did pretty well at hiding his glazed over look. I was eating my nightly cereal in bed. When I had finished my long narative he asked me if I was finished with my essay. I tend to give long stories to simple things. He says I make paragraphs out of a sentence. I started to explain my whole train of thought of why i had a pile of clothes on our big chair in the bedroom. I had to explain that none of them fit me and so I began to organize the ones that didn't to be put in the large bin we have in the closet and that I had needed his help to get it down. He just laughed and asked me why I needed to explain all of that when all i had to do was ask that he help me get it down.

Not sure why I complicate things but I think its because I always see every little detail to get from point A to Point B and john just sees Point B and just gets there. he doesn't need to analyze everything. But he is willing to let me be me as I let him be him. Ahh... love. Ain't it grand.

Bored and sick

Today has been a wash. I have been sick with the flu yesterday and today. So of course this means I am at home all day long with nothing to do but crochet and watch Netflix all day long. That can only last so long. I began to then watch FRIENDS. I decided that I dont like the episodes when Monica and Chandler are living together in the 6th season. at least not the episodes with Joey's dancer roommate. Maybe I do but honestly today i just wasn't feeling it. However I did get some laundry folded and some dishes started. So I wasn't completely unproductive.

I felt so bad because i didn't cook anything but a frozen pizza today. Sometimes being pregnant and then sick really makes me feel like a failure as a wife. Ok I know I am being overly dramatic but I can't help myself. John and I both miss my old self who actually wanted to get out and do things all the time. Now I just want to either stay in or go to my grandparents house. Someplace very familiar and comfortable.

And now with John at work during the night i am home alone. Last night and tonight Ina is gone visiting some cousins so I am completely alone. Hopefully when the baby is here I will have more company. I swear I can't be more excited than I already am. And I love babies so having one of my own will be the best thing yet!

We are still debating if its a boy or girl. However we only have 4 more weeks left till we get to find out so its not that far off. I can't hardly wait... I can't wait to see our gorgeous baby.

Our life so far...

So i think I am getting used to John working nights. It sucks majorly to sleep alone but since I am always uncomfortable at night and way too hot for comfort, having the bed to myself and the fan on me directly has been nice. John loves his job and always comes home excited from working overtime. He even got to meet the owner of the company the other night and the first thing she said was "you must be john. I have heard so much about you." I doubt seriously that our owner would even know my name let alone anything about me. My work has been about the same. I like it again now that I dont have to mute people in order to puke every hour or so.

My baby bump is showing more now so people are finding they need to rub it. Even people I dont know seem fascinated by it and need to touch it. I read in my baby book that if that bothers me I can either tell them directly or proceed to rub their belly in return. I think I will rub theirs and maybe they will think twice before rubbing the belly. I don't mind people touching it so long as i know who you are. AKA creepy guy I have never seen before... back off or my samoan hubby will kick your booty.

There is a lot more to do in ways of paperwork for the baby than I anticipated. I have to fill out a bunch of forms for work and make lots of requests for Short Term Disability and possibly FMLA. I did find out however that Short term disability lasts for 25 weeks and FMLA lasts 12 weeks. I dont think we will use the FMLA because its without pay and I want some kind of income. But that means I can still have like 6 months off if I chose. We will only be using 3months I think so that I can get back into the swing of things at work.

I was thinking the other day of the most memorable moments of my past jobs. Here are a few snap shots:

Age 16- Cleaning a ladies house from church- locking my keys in the car with the car running.
Age 17- Wild Waves working on SkyCoaster- A man riding the ride was yelling for joy and his teeth flew out and landed near the line of people. He got off and put his dentures back in and walked away.
Age 20- BYU--I Testin center- Getting out of my car going into work my skirt falls to my knees and I dont notice until I lock the car door. Many people see me and I high-tail it next to a truck and the owner shows up while my skirt is in my hands.
Age 20- Harborview Pathology/Morge- walking into an autopsy and seeing a guys insides outside.
Age 22- Free & Clear- Asking a participant if he has serious or worsening Angina or heart pain. He says " uh, mam, I am not a female." He thought I said Vagina and I had to clarify.

These are my most memorable moments to date. I am sure I will have plenty more in my lifetime. I would love to be a stay at home mom but chances are that life never turns out how you plan so I will most likely be working while being a mom. And i think i am up to it. John will be that one dad that shows up to every dance recital, soccer game, and birthday party to support his kids. I will be there too but I am sure that John will be there more often since its just what he wants to do. He loves to go to my cousins games and all their sporting events. Its all about the family he says. What can I say, I married well.

Catching Up

Realizing today that I haven't written in quite a while and that bothers me because I have so much on my mind. People have asked us recently how long we have been married and I keep saying 7 months and then realize that our 1 yr anniversary is 2 months away. Surprise Surprise! I remember feeling so bad because we weren't pregnant yet but now I am looking back and know it was in God's timing. Our biggest worry was that we wouldn't be able to have kids since my female parts dont cooperate like normal people. Now we know that everything will be alright. We are 12 weeks 3days pregnant and feeling GREAT! I haven't thrown up in what feels like ages. I think its been like a week now and I am so excited! I thought that chapter would never end. I feel so bad for my friends who have been sick their whole pregnancy. It seems everyone I talked to said they were sick the whole time and I should just expect that. I guess I get to be one of the lucky ones now. 

I even felt so amazing that I cleaned up the house and started cooking again. When I was cooking John just smiled at me with such love in his eyes and said "I have missed you." We both missed the normal me. The happy me who enjoys cooking and cleaning and wants to be active. The moody, vomiting, and nauseated me was not my friend. I do get emotional now where i cry over simple things. But I will take that over vomiting every day of the week. 

John starts his new job tonight! He is so excited and I couldn't be more proud of him. He sought out this job on his own. He did the interview and the next day they called and asked him to start the next day. Its a job at Pink's Original Bakery which has the cutest website. He gets a discount so you know I will be getting lots of yummy treats! My only sadness comes from the fact that for the next 3 months he will be working graveyard and I will be sleeping alone. Not a huge fan of that at all. But he is home during the day so I will take what I can. And it is more money and he will be happier so it all works out in the end.

It is basically official that Ina is staying with us for certain. We still have her sleeping on the air mattress in the living room but she prefers it. I think once she gets a job she will be more apt to move into the office and have a regular bed. We will be moving in April I think to a 3 bedroom apartment in the same community since two bedrooms won't cut it with a new baby and with Ina here. I have no idea how that will all work and I need to figure out how to keep the good aura in my home without making my office go into my bedroom. That would be not so good. Maybe by then we will have enough income to rent a home... who knows. but its nice to think about the future. 

So we are still moving forward with the apprenticeship applications so John can get a job as an electrician. That's the end goal we are working towards. we plan on having his parents move here the summer of 2013 and we will need to get them jobs right away and then we will be moving into a house for sure and then buying a house shortly thereafter. I am so much a planner I can't even help myself. If I could I would start looking at houses today. 

Our dogs got a serious shave this week. they were so hairy and their hair was so long and matted I couldn't even begin to get through it. So off it all went. Now they look like little poodles but its only temporary. Now that I am feeling better I will be able to keep the hair from getting matted. And we are keeping it short. None of this long hair business. 

Anyways thats the update with us! What's new with you?

My little baby.

Seeing our baby yesterday was the highlight of my life. Marrying John of course was epic but actually getting to see our baby on the screen was priceless. John had expected the image to be bigger and actually see our baby, but he was still happy. the first picture they got showed something that looked like an arm waving at us. it was so cute. it could have just been the umbilicle cord but i like to think baby was waving to us saying "hi mom, hi dad! Look at me" seriously so precious. And to see the heart beat truly made me wanna cry. It was like my mommy vibes took over and I knew that our baby was the most precious thing to me. It made it completely real.

Of course I am now free to go buy baby stuff since we now have the first ultrasound done but I can't bring myself to buy anything not knowing the gender. People who actually wait are more daring than I am because I know I couldn't handle it.

But just the fact that we got to actually see our little someone was more than I could have hoped. And its just one baby. I am actually farther along than they had first thought. I am 11weeks 2 days. Before they would have said I am 10weeks days. So I am really 2 days farther along but I will take it! This means just one more week and I am out of the first trimester which I am praying means no more nausea. Like maybe there is a switch that clicks off and you aren't sick anymore. Well i can only hope. In the meantime I am going to just dream of holding my little baby. :)

Drum Roll>>>> Baby's first deput tomorrow!

I am so freaking stoked right now I dont think i could sleep even if I attempted. We have our first ultrasound appointment tomorrow at 4:30pm and I am positively estatic. First of course there is the doubt that maybe I have had it all wrong and its a molar pregnancy or an ectopic pregnancy or even that I wasn't pregnant to begin with and its just a fluke... so of course thats the negative side of me that kicks into overdrive whenever something huge is about to happen. Then I check myself. I do this all the time so I have to ask myself how realistic am I being. Where are these thoughts coming from. basically be my own shrink since I do it for a living anyway. who knew tobacco cessation would pass over into my personal life.

John has had a count down for baby's first picture for a week now. He is a little more excited than I am I think. He of course has no worries. In fact he has brought up twins more than once so now I am even considering the possibility of it. Fact... both sides of my family have twins in their line. And John has twins in his too... so there is  a good chance it could be twins. Or I could just be overly dramatic which we know I never am... and it is just one little munchkin who just likes to get attention. Which we will be more than happy to deliver.

So far today I haven't had any serious bouts of nausea. I didn't throw up once today. Instead I have been starving and I wanted a cheeseburger so bad I was about to rob a fast food joint. Basically I want meat all the time now. I can't decide if the nausea is gone or if its just where normal pregnant women have it. I am still on the meds for the nausea and I am not ok with stopping them anytime soon. I like not throwing up and having an appetite for once. Maybe I will actually put some weight on now. Did I really just consider that a good thing? All for the baby right. Then after the baby comes it will be back to losing the weight and becoming the new and improved sexy mama! I cracked myself up just now. Maybe I am tired after all.

Ina went to stay the night over at their cousins house tonight and I am going through withdrawls. Who knew I would become so attached to someone so quickly. Then there was talk of her staying a week... not sure I want to let her go for a week! The house already feels so empty without her here and I am pretty sure Leo and Izzy are ticked she is gone. She dotes on them. They ignore me and only focus on her. I dont mind so much. Leo is now her dog and Izzy is John's dog. I told them I am ok with it because baby will be all mine! they both just got defensive almost to say they would give up the dog to have the baby. Cracked me up.

We did our routine volleyball over at the stakecenter with some friends and new potential friends. I had to sit out because I dont really want to have to move so fast right now. I mean not to long ago speed bumps made me up chuck. And I am thinking running after a ball would be a bad mix. Plus I think John would just stand in front of me and not let me touch the ball for fear it could damage me or the baby. Such an over protective guy. He puts up with me which is no small task. Last night I even asked him to go grab me some nilla wafers while I layed in bed so I could calm the nausea. So he gets up and goes to find them and bring them to me. Mind you he had been almost sleeping... I try not to take advantage of his sweetness.

Now John is giving me the "get off the computer and come to bed look." Ok night all! I will post stuff after visiting with the Midwife! Ahh so excited.

Learning new lessons

I am very content with my life right now. I have a wonderful husband and a baby on the way. We have a sweet little home with two cars. We both have jobs and are securing our future. Hopefully we will be buying a house soon in the next 3 years. I am just counting my blessings.

Having Ina, John's sister, stay with us for the Summer has taught me a few lessons right away. Neither John or Ina say anything negative about people. Honestly its a shock to me since there are so many stereotypes in the world today. Yesterday we went to buy gas and there was a lady who had all kinds of different colored hair and some huge fingernails that were longer than her own fingers. My reaction was to tell Ina to look and commented how shocking it was. I said I thought it was ugly and Ina just said simply that she thought the nails were pretty and she liked the color and the ladies hair was very interesting. Puts me to shame I tell you. Even though obviously the ladies choice in her appearance is shocking and not the norm it was still something she chose and not to be judged by myself. We were buying bathing suits at a store last week and Ina commented that one of the ladies was very pretty. When i turned to see who she was talking about I found she was referring to a very obese lady. I was taken aback at first and then looked again and noticed that the lady had a very pretty face and was in very cute clothes. Again I was taught a lesson.

With our baby on the way I keep thinking about what I want to instill in our child and I am thinking that when we have John's parent live with us our kids will have some serious values instilled within them. If having Ina is any indication of what it will be like than I think I will be very ok with it.

Updates: John is home. Ina is a Godsend.

John is home! yay! i haven't had any time obviously to do anything but monopolize his time and I am not sorry one bit. It felt like torture to be away from eachother and complete relief to have him home. We have a wonderful new addition to our family. John's sister Ina has come to stay with us for a bit over the summer. Honestly don't know what I would do without her. She is not a bother in the least. She helps me more than I ever thought possible and she does it without complaint or expectations of anything in return. She blends in very nicely into our life which is very reassuring to know that adding someone in the mix isn't as overwhelming as I thought it would be. AKA baby is coming in January!

On that pregnancy front I am happy to report that the vomitting is lessened with the new medication and no prenatals. My grandma about died when I told her I wasn't on prenatals. But my Dr. is the one who said to go without it for now since I need to be able to eat and keep something down. Our next visit is in 10 days! We will get to hear baby's heart beat and see something of a blob on the screen. And such a loveable blob it is.

I am actually showing a little bit which is fun. I was thinking it was just me until John said something about it and same with our neighbor lady too. While I was reading in one of my books it says you might start to show while others say it is too early to show. And others say it could be just gas or constipation. Well after drinking some prune juice... its not the constipation to say the least. and I am pretty sure its not about the gas. Maybe its the too much chocolate and fries before the baby... but even then I wonder. Nope I am calling it my mini-baby bump because that is what it is to me. I am making a list of items that I need to get for baby while also making a list of what I think i need but in reality have been told I will never use- so I wont be wasting money on them. Baby is going to be so spoiled!

I have been trying to connect to baby during the day by just spending some time thinking about baby and the future baby will have in our family. Honestly when you are sick all day long it kinda ruins the magic of everything. I don't really feel like a mom just yet. My friends who are mom's or mom's to be have given me comfort by telling me its normal to just feel sick and not have the mom role feel real or applicable right away. So I am trying not to be too hard on myself. Time is plenty right now. And hopefully the vomit and nausea will end in a few weeks and I can just feel like blissful happy pregnancy!

Surprisingly proactive!

I am very super duper surprised at myself today. I went to work. Then I cooked Mac N Cheese for myself. I was famished so I ate the whole box, then I laid down for a bit. Took the dogs for their routine walk and threw up in the bushes half of the box. Vacuumed the apartment!(been a while) and then did the dishes and then scrubbed the carpet in the van. It has had many a spills in it before we got it. And I am expecting many more to come but that carpet needed some work. I am planning to take it to my grandparents tomorrow and return the carpet cleaner vacuum we borrowed two months ago and use it to clean out the rest of the van. I mean come on people this is progress!

Could it be that I have turned a new leaf? Or maybe the fact that John and his sister get here tomorrow night and I don't like having the house messy and promised John I would have it all clean when he gets back. We will let him decide I think. I still have a few loads to do of laundry. Since our washer and dryer are midget sized its basically half a load's worth which means two of johns shirts and maybe a few socks. Not very much at all.

But now I am going to have helping hands so I wont feel completely overwhelmed every single day! I miss John so much and I am not ashamed to say i cried many a time while he was gone. I am so sick of people telling me to get over it. Honestly it makes me want to punch them in the face. If you have never had a good marriage or relationship like what I have, don't assume i am being overly dramatic or needy. In our marriage he is my other half and when he isn't here its honestly like half of me is missing and I am scrambling to figure out how to cope. Maybe I complain too much about missing him but then if that's the case people shouldn't be reading it! 


Ok maybe that is harsh but come on now. Who has any right to judge anyone else? 


Pregnancy is making me a little crankier than usual I think. I am more sensitive to things. still can't stomach most foods and I can't sleep on my stomach any more. I have achne like I am 12 and my waistline is making it so even my stretchy pants are not stretchy enough. :( but sadness is that I am not showing very much and one book said that what I think is me "showing" could just be constipation and bloating. Very sexy dont you think? I might want to take care of that before John gets here...


I also need to have some yummy food ready for when they get home. Now who can I rangle to come cook food for me for them? lol... Now I am off to walk my friends Dog like I do everyday and then do more work. I do enjoy having my 3 hour lunch brk. Keeps things interesting. 

Food tragedy.

Today the baby decided that it didn't like pickles. Which ps is like my favorite snack. And might I add that pickles do not taste good coming back up. I swear I can't eat anything. I can't figure out what I can eat because even with the medicine I can't eat anything. I was hoping bread would work but that turned out to be a flop.

Hopefully its just stress about John being gone. He does come home tomorrow night! He wont be here till late wednesday night. Oh man do I miss my man. Once he gets here I think it will be all better. or we will just wait another 3.5 weeks. oh please let it only be for 3.5 more weeks.  I dont think I can take it much longer. I know I am whining but who wouldn't whine when they throw up everything and can't do anything because they might throw up. And might I add where ever I am I throw up. Walmart. Restaurants. Side walks. Parks. Ugh.

Missing my Husband... :(

I tell you what I am a huge fan of my husband. Him not being here is the worst thing that has ever happened. I might be slightly melodramatic. We woke up very early to be ready for the plane. His cousin Angel drove us there since I can't seem to drive without throwing up. We parted at the gate and I cried the whole time. Ugh the first day was horrible and now it is slightly better. We talk tons but its hard trying to not use up all the calling card minutes.

Summer has been awesome and came over monday and wednesday to help keep me company. She helped me clean yesterday which I so needed. She told me to turn on the music and blast it because that would help me out. Turns out she is right. I need noise. Sitting in a quiet empty house is not fun.

I will not take John for granted ever because I can't stand the thought of him not being here. I can't watch LOST right now because honestly that is his show and its too depressing. So I am now just doing the sappy love movies. Precious. And today I decided to go to my happy place and watch FRIENDS!

Babee is now the size of a rasberry. woohoo! and the medicine is helping with the nausea. I need to remember to eat something more often though. I had the shakes a while ago because I didn't have enough to eat. Bad Momma.

But 6 more days and I get to see John! I can't wait!... counting down!

Where has my clean house gone!

Between being pregnant which leads to feeling sick all day and being exhausted, and working 40hrs a week, my house cleaning has taken a hit. I hate being messy. I hate it when the dishes are in the sink and all I have to do is start the dishwasher and then unload...but that seems like such a huge chore I can't even start to lift my hand in that direction. My floor hasn't been vacuumed in I at least a week and I have yet to thoroughly clean my shower. My aunt has helped out twice to clean up the kitchen and John helps out so much too. I feel so completely lame to not be doing everything and having the house spotless. I hate how the clean clothes are just sitting in the laundry basket waiting to be put up. The dirty ones taunting me in the dirty clothes hampers in the bathroom. Ugh... this just reeks of years to come being a mom. I guess I need to figure this out before the baby comes because I will have less time and less energy then. however I wont be throwing up so there is hope at the end of the tunnel.

My goal for today is to vacuum the floor and do one load of laundry. I started the dishwasher and cleaned the toilet. So I think I am making progress. Now if I can just have the meds kick all the way in and make me feel not nauseated that would be perfect. But the throwing up has slowed down a bit.

John leaves on Monday for Samoa so I need to get a handle of things before he leaves because I am not sending him off on a ten day trip with no clean underwear or socks! And I am sure I wont want to clean anything at that time either.

First Baby Appointment

Yesterday I was told that we would hear the baby's heart beat today at our appointment. Sadly we were misinformed. It was really just informational stuff and they made me pee in a cup(harder than it sounds for girls thank you very much) and they had me give blood samples. He missed the first vein in my left arm. he said he could keep digging under the muscle for the vein or do another one. Ya I hate needles so he used the other arm and got the vein. Why do my veins have to be fickle like that. But it wasn't a total loss. They did give me medicine to help with nausea. I was even able to keep some food down! Score one for the Midwife!

We had a very wonderful visit with Megan and baby Brennan today. I thought John was going to leave but instead as soon as they got here John took Brennan and started to play with him. He was having fun with the baby. Stretching his daddy muscles. He is going to be a great Dad. He kept making Brennan laugh just by talking to him. Brennan was beside himself. He loved the dogs. They love the little human. I think he was equally as excited that the dogs were his size. Leo kept licking him all over. We just need the dogs to learn not to lick the baby or to lick the bottles or the binkies.

I know it is too soon. I mean I am only 6weeks and 5days prego. But I do have a baby registry started. I wanted to get a head start on the preparations. Not like i can buy all the stuff right now. But it helps to have that hope in the form of a list.

So hear I am on the couch with Izzy laying her head on my legs and I am in my Snuggie. Thats right i caved. I finally have a snuggie. And you know what, I like it. Megan brought it for me today. She is super thoughtful like that. I am going to take full access of it at work. I right now have blankets I just wrap around me like a shawl so it will be so nice to have something like this. I totally dogged on them before but now I think I am a believer.

So as of right now I am not vomitting. I am in a snuggie. And my hubby is giving me all kinds of wonderful love. Very tender. Love of my life. And then there was three!

Jinxed Myself

I shouldn't have gotten excited about not being sick friday. I woke up the last 3 days and immediately threw up bile. Yummy. So i am now religiously using the B6vitamin and dramamine(1/2 each 2xdaily) to help with the nausea. It seems like my nausea is pretty much subsided in the evening if I take the meds.

Today we even had a BBQ at our home. My mom and siblings came and John had invited one of his coworkers, Jeff. John is such a good cooker. My mom has gone baby crazy and bought me and baby tons of stuff. She bought this one onesie that says Daddy's King of the Grill. He hung it up above our couch. Such a proud papa.

Loved having a two day weekend. I could have worked Memorial Day but I figured it was a better idea to rest finally. I so wish I could have a two day weekend. But then again I do like only having to work max 3days. So I will work tomorrow and then I am off... So nice... And we then have our first baby appointment! I am so super excited. I think I need to do my research to find out more about what goes on in this appointment.

I think the reality that John is leaving in 7days has started to sink in for him too. John says he doesn't want to leave me and baby. Really sweet. Of course we both know he is leaving but I think we can survive. Barely but still. Its good to have a man all crazy about you. Everyone deserves that.

Feeling Better Baby!

Today I haven't thrown up once. I am in shock. I had been taking ginger tablets and eating small meals frequently. And I had 1/2 a dramamine and 1/2 B6 vitamin. Oh and I sniff ginger root and eat limes. Not sure what worked but the last two days I have been miserable. Then today I am doing great. I was nauseated all day long without any let up but I seem to be doing ok all things considered. Yesterday was the worst I have been.

My mom has gotten the baby bug lately. She bought baby boy & baby girl stuff. Very cute onesies! She even bought me some super cute socks. I still haven't bought any because I made a deal with John. Not until after the first ultrasound and we hear a heart beat. According to the books I am reading and the websites the baby's first heart beat mostly likely happened today or yesterday. That makes me so happy. I can't wait to see the little blip on the ultrasound monitor. What a precious little blip.

I think my weepy days are getting better. I am only having bouts of sadness and weepiness several times a day. But then again John is leaving in 10days. I seriously am beside myself when I think about him not being here with me every day. I know that must make me spoiled but honestly we haven't been apart since the day we started dating. On June 28th it will be one year since we made it official. I can't even think about spending a night without him. He is my everything... oh ok now I am going to cry... bah! ok done.

I am also learning to let go. Let go of old friends. Friends who have always seemed to try to slap me whenever they talk to me. The kind that make you feel insignificant. I guess I just always try to make people happy and make things work. But why try to extend a hand to someone who basically and honestly doesn't deserve it. So I am washing my hands of some people and just making room for new and improved friends.

We started watching the episodes of LOST this past week and I think it was a bad idea. Now i only want to watch LOST and with John making a long flight to Samoa in ten days I am super paranoid. I am just waiting for a happy ending because it is way too dramatic. But I like it.

Since I haven't thrown up today I thought maybe it was ok for us to go out and get some Gyro's! I love Greek food! so yummy!

And this my friends is how my crazy mind works. I jump topics all the freaking time!

Ready to be done with 1st trimester.

I think we now have come up with a system for the morning sickness. Wake up 7:15am... drink some fruity v8 juice, turn over and start to throw up... or get up and log into work and then dash to bathroom and throw up. I was very impressed because yesterday I only threw up 4-5times which is a nice change. Today not so good... I lost track after the 6th time. I did however change my prenatals and hope that will make some impact. Day 2 and not so much. I think I kinda agrivated it when we had pizza for dinner last night and then some delicious brownies and icecream. And of course I had 3 chocolate frosted doughnuts about an hour ago. Baby didn't like any of it and decided to let  me know. After dry heaving a bit I have found that the blue gatorade will make me vomit instantly when sipped. However the rain berry doesn't. So I have blue gatorade on my bathroom counter for the dry heaving solution.

Leo has been super sweet. He will sit right next to me while I barf and just wait for me. He snuggles my legs while I lean over the toilet. Which reminds me that I need to clean it again. I am the kind of person that prefers to clean the toilet before throwing up. Weird I know. But that need is getting less and less. I am half considering calling the OBGYN clinic and asking for some help with the nausea. I am all about not using medicine and home cures but I am kinda running low on stamina with that. They say the first pregnancy is the worst and I am hoping its true. They also say that once you have the baby your memory is basically wiped clean of all the mess you went through before that moment.

When in the middle of sickness I like to read my prego books and browse the baby registries for things to add. I already have a few things picked out. John is willing to forgo his new Jordan's(shoes) for a baby pack-n-play. Now we are learning to save for the baby and make sure we are far out of debt. I am not a fan of debt. I still have a bunch of student loans which I am not looking forward to getting into. I need to also balance the check book after going to the store and having a payday.

John made lamb tonight for dinner. I couldn't quite stomach it. But he was so sweet to make it and really try his best to make sure it was perfect. Maybe when I am not pregnant I will like it better. Good thing he has an appetite because that will be dinner the next few days. When I am feeling like crap I just want to lay around and do absolutely nothing. John is getting really good at snuggling and playing with my hair while simultaneously playing Gears of War2.

We also had Chelsey Lynn and David Jarvis over for dinner last night. They brought warm brownies so we had that first and oh it was so good. Chelsey and I got to eat the brownies while being entertained by John and David playing Kinect. Very adorable. I am so glad he and David click. According to John, David is his only palagi friend- a trophy friend if you will. The boys had a blast and me and chelsey got to have a little girl time.

We even got to use our new table. It finally arrived after 9weeks! Loved the table but freaking hate the wait. Serves me for wanting the one on sale and not in stock. John spent a few hours puttting the table together and two of the six chairs. Such a good man.

So thats the scoop with us. How are all of you?

Head In Toilet... Need to clean toilet...

Please let the first trimester be done soon. I am so nauseated all the time. Its like throw up nonstop at this point. I can't even go to sleep at night. Last night I was in bed throwing up for an hour and a half. Nothing would subside the vomit. In fact it was only after everything was gone in my stomach that I could finally lay back down. John was super sweet and brought me crackers and my water bottle and he held my hair back for me when I threw up. He even attempted to put my hair in a make shift pony tail. It was slightly tragic but very adorable. I was told by someone to eat a PG&J sandwich before bed to help with the nausea. I think it helped last night and I just ate another one just now because lets face it, being someone who works all day on the phone I kinda need to not vomit while I work. However I do have a handy puke bowl I have configured out of our popcorn bowl. I will wash it however so if we ever have you over and we pull it out, dont be grossed out ok. It does get washed frequently. Actually doing the other dishes in the sink however is being neglected. I can't stand to look at the dishes let alone smell anything coming from the sink. John can't smell anything though. he is super sweet and does the dishes most days.

And can I just vent here and ask: Why do the medicines we are supposed to take for nausea make me want to vomit? Aren't they suppose to prevent the vomitting? So whats up with that. I mean even before I was pregnant tums made me gag and pepto bismol was more than just nauseating to look it- the taste is attrocious. Im not even going to attempt either. A: because they are disgusting & B: I'm not sure Im supposed to take them when pregnant. Maybe tums but I dont know about pepto-vomito. For now I am sticking to my V8 fruit Juice(gag me on the real kind) and my PB&J and saltenes. Everything else can go to ****. Sorry but I am not in the mood for politically correct anything. I think what makes pregnant people so edgy is the hormones are in overdrive for one and ps we are sick and vomitting all day long. You try and be pleasant and sociable when you just got through vomiting. And ps when you vomit you pretty much pee your pants too! So i am miserable. But ironically I am happy about it.

I did however ask John if maybe next time we can hire someone to go through the first trimester for us. He wasn't as excited as I was about that prospect. He just shook his head and told me I would carry our kids. I told him maybe we just stick with one for now. He laughed and said "and many more to come." I would have chased after him and possibly tackled him if my head wasn't already over the toilet bowl. Dont get me wrong we are just a very playful couple with lots of love and sarcasm. I dont know how I would get through all of this without him rubbing my back and reminding me there is a baby at the end of all this.

And my dear sweet friend Emma is the best and John wants to name a daughter after her. She was so nice and thoughtful and sent us a cute baby package. Love you Emma! She sent us this elephant stuffed animal that plays music and can hang on a carseat! It will be a favorite for baby I can tell. And she sent us this adorable blanket with ducks all over it! our baby is already so spoiled and so loved! I can't wait.

Notice the hormonal changes in my writing too. I can't help it. Im a freaking scatter brain! And now I have a better excuse!

Best Aunt Ever!

So tonight I had the best surprise. I had just sprinted to the bathroom to vomit (my nightly ritual) I heard a knock at the door. I opened it up and was so surprised to see my Aunt Summer at my door with a bag of McDonalds in one hand and a chocolate shake in the other. I just smiled and told her I would be right back after I finished throwing up. She started right in cleaning up the kitchen and doing my dishes. Something that I have been slacking on since the pregnancy kicked into overdrive. She let me just sit back and relax while she took care of everything.

It was so nice to have her just take that initiative without me asking. She saw a need and she filled it. She has always been that way with me. I have been so blessed with her in my life.

Every time I look at John I get those little butterflies in my tummy and I feel so much love. And the best part is that I know he feels the same way about me. He is right now walking through our kitchen with an over exagerated goofy shocked smile staring at everything Summer did. He loves her soo much too. We call ourselves the three amigos. Summer however reminded me that we now have to think of a different name since we have a new little one one the way! Best day ever!

Not my best moment

I thought I would try to outsmart my morning sickness today. I got up and then realized I was feeling worse so I laid back down to see if it would subside. So I slept in a little more and then when I decided to try and get up the morning sickness won. I pretty much ran to the bathroom while dry heaving. Not my best moment.

Last night I thought I wanted a breakfast burrito but even now the idea of eating eggs makes me feel like vomit. But then I realized it was just the sausage I wanted. Not any sausage. I wanted a costco hotdog. So that is where we had dinner. Half way through my hot dog John asked "I thought you hated hotdogs?" of course he knows I hate them. he just gets such a kick out of me craving things I hate.

In reading one of my pregnancy books it said that some women crave salty things because it keeps the morning sickness(aka the all day sickness) from getting out of control. Maybe thats why i keep craving weird things. I took one of my friends advice and went on a mommy to be website- whattoexpect.com and it really did help relieve some of my paranoia. Just to know I am not alone in how I am feeling and to know other women are also freaking out about the simple weird cramping.

But so far so good.

4Weeks 4days
Morning sickness status: stable and recurring.
Dad: very happy and very helpful
Cravings: Grilled Cheese Sandwhiches & tomatoe soup/ costco hot dogs/cocoa rice ***not all together.

Paranoid Mama!

Now that I know we are pregnant I feel so paranoid. Every sensation I feel I freak out and assume it's something horrible. Morning sickness hasn't been as bad as it could be I think. I get super nauseated and throw up mostly in the morning and after I lay down for a while. I am having strange cravings. I only want to eat tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Normally I hate either but right now I seriously can't get enough. Its the one thing that I can keep down.

I did read that the worse your morning sickness the healthier the baby. So I am glad I am nauseate?

The second craving I had was for Samoan Cocoa Rice. Basically its yummy goodness. I think it has coconut milk in it with rice and cocoa powder. I think... but honestly I have no idea what it really has on it. But me and baby like this one. This baby is becoming more like his daddy every day. John came home on his lunch break to see baby and me. He is very much the doting papa.

I think he may be more concerned than me about making sure I do everything right. He doesn't want me lifting anything or doing any heavy house work. Aka even the dishes. Its honestly very cute. I did however convince him it is not reasonable that I not drive places. He agreed to let me drive short distances. It is really quite cute. Don't get me wrong. I am totally milking this while I can. I mean he did the dishes and cooked for me all weekend long. He is basically adorable. And he is always talking to the baby telling them he wants to see them ASAP and to make sure to be big and strong like Daddy. He is a very proud Father in deed. So we are both taking every precaution to make sure we can have a healthy full term baby. Lots of prayers right now.

I haven't bought any baby stuff just yet because every time I try to get something I rationalize how irrational it is to buy something when we don't know the sex of the baby yet. I have no clue how some of my friends are planning to not find out. I would be going insane. But I did buy some baby pattern books for a crocheted baby blanket. I am already working on one now but its for a girl. It is way too cute so I had to find a perfect one to do for our son if it's a boy. Our theme is going to be a jungle theme for the baby whether its a boy or girl. So I found the cutest baby blanket pattern that has animal shapes crocheted into the pattern! Its going to be very difficult but i am going to do it! or if all else fails I will make a simpler one and do an awesome tie blanket. I do also have fabric for the girl snuggle buddy blanket I make. I just need to get some boy blanket fabric and the stuffed animal to go with it. If you haven't seen my snuggle buddy blankets yet they are super cute and kids just love them. I make them for all my friends and their babies (disclosure- if you didn't get one I do apologize. Just email me and I will make you one. You can even select a theme :)

Ahh the joys of pregnancy. I must go to the bathroom for the umpteenth time. And I seem to want a breakfast burrito right now. hmm... weirdness. :0)

Baby on Board!!!!

Woohoo!!! We are officially pregnant. I had some symptoms that could really be contributed to a pregnancy or to other things. Like an impending period. But I seriously had to pee like every half hour. I went with my aunt Summer and her 4yr old Becca to McDonalds and after being there an hour and 3 bathroom breaks we started to really debating if I was pregnant. Prior to talking about the pregnancy when Summer took Becca to the bathroom this guy sitting next to us turned to me and asked me if I was pregnant with twins. I was in shock and with the fries half way to my mouth I dropped them and tried to swallow. How do you explain to someone that you never ask if someone is pregnant, let alone asking them if they are pregnant with twins!

While I was in shock I was also trying to figure out if I was pregnant. So me and Becca took a pit stop at FredMeyer and picked up a baby doll for her & some pregnancy tests. When we met Summer at our apartment Summer basically told me I had to take a test because she had to know. I tried to explain how I didn't want my hopes up. But she convinced me and so basically I ran in the bathroom and while i was in the midst of holding the stick in the pee she walked in and asked "are you done yet we need to know." When I finished I looked at the stick and immediately it turned positive. All I could do was hold it in my hand and say "I'm pregnant" she was like "What!!!" and then when I showed her the stick and in the middle of pulling up my pants she came over and we started jumping up and down! It was truly a moment to be remembered.

John is going to be such a doting father. He is so gentle with me already but now he doesn't want me to ever lift a finger. I had to convince him that it was ok if I drove the car. The car wouldn't hurt the baby. And to be super over protective he said he didn't want me to leave the house for fear of me getting sick or some tragedy should strike the earth at the exact moment I leave the doorway! It was really cute to see him trying to think of any way he could possibly protect me and the baby. After reasoning with him though he seems to realize I will need to drive and leave the house daily. So long as I promise not to get into any car accident or drag races he is ok with this.

I woke up this morning to have his head near my tummy and his hand on my belly and him talking to our baby. Mind you right now our baby is the size of a piece of rice. An adorable piece of rice at that. Our families are so stinking excited. My Aunts are now going to be Great Aunts which is quite hilarious. I mean Summer is only 37 and she is a great aunt. I guess its not as bad as some people becoming grandparents at 36...

Our puppies seem to be doing ok with everything too. They just stay with me all day long. They follow me around everywhere. I wonder if they sense that things are changing. They are good with kids so I'm not worried about them. When they see a baby they usually just stare at it like saying "hey you, your a tiny little human who smells."

I am too excited to put anything into any sort of order. However I did cancel my infertility appointment and schedule my first to Prenatal care appointments. And get this. No Copay! I knew people love babies. Even Insurance companies love the babies! One website said the first heart beat should happen on May 27th! Not that we will be able to tell until the end of June anyways but I love knowing how our baby is progressing.

So Due Date: January 20, 2012
Age: Week 5
Gender: TBD (we will be finding out! I can't wait for anything)
Size: Grain of Rice

Dance Partay!

Sometimes me and John have dance parties in our living room. Lots of dance offs and slow dances too. He will come home with a new song he wants me to hear and then says it made him think of me and pull me close and just dance with me. He is way better than I imagined my husband would be. I can't believe we haven't spent a day apart since we started dating. Now he is going to be gone for 10 days out of the country. I am pretty much panicking. Every horrible scenario has gone through my mind since we bought his ticket. I know I am being irrational but I can't help it. I will have my babies here but seriously I will miss him so bad.

I keep having weird dreams over the past week. Last night I was helping to solve a murder when i realized the people i was helping were the ones who were murderers and then I had to get away quick. and then they turned into a badger and werewolf and i hate to disarm the one that turned into a toy fish. That makes absolutely no sense but hey thats why they call it a dream.

Another dream I had was my family trying to make us move to Utah! I mean come one.. Utah... Just kidding. Anyways they packed all our stuff and made us drive the U-haul all the way to Utah by force. And then when we all got to Utah we were at this big amusement park. I just started crying because we had to leave our home and I had to try to find a job that made even close to what I made at my old job since my work isn't transferable to Utah yet. Then I woke up to my alarm and realized I still have my job... which means I had to wake up. Oh wait that was last night and the werewolf one was Saturday night.

whoopsie daisies

So recently I have been having slightly annoying tendencies that can be called Blonde Moments. I am not exactly sure why these are happening at the moment but through introspection I might have some clue. Or not.

Exhibit A: I constantly jump right into my shower when I know the water is too hot and I know I will have to adjust the temperature, but I do it anyway. I find myself plastered to one wall trying to not let the water touch my skin and then inch my way into it slowly- assuming I will become accustomed to the scalding heat, however this always fails and I end up turning the temperature down anyway. Why don't I just turn it to the proper temperature to begin with? Good question... I have no idea.

Exhibit B: I haven't been able to find the dryer-lint container thingy in our dryer since we moved in a week and a half ago. I have been diligent about the laundry but found that the laundry is never quite as dry on the first cycle i put it through. I even thought about calling the office to ask them where it was because honestly I couldn't find it. It wasn't on the side or on the inside by the door or on the bottom.  I looked everywhere. So while I was complaining to John he decided to go find it. And he did. Apparently in the back of the dryer up high there is this circle thing in the back where you can pull it out and there is this dryer lint thing.

Exhibit C: I recently gave up coke which i love because I had a serious caffeine addiction. I had serious headaches and mood swings. So I was super excited to not have to have caffeine in my life. Then this morning I looked at my crystal light and low an behold it has caffeine in it! So I felt pretty dorky. But I was awake!

Good thing John puts up with me. We have been realizing more and more lately that we have switched places.  I used to call or text him in the am to see if he was on his break at work, just to chat. Well yesterday I didn't and instead of being ok with it, he was really bothered by it. He said that since I usually text or call him at work, when i didn't do it he was worried something was wrong. Which PS is something I would say. I also tossed a meat wrapper in the garbage can without rinsing it first and John asked me if I was planning on washing it to reduce the chance of the smell linering. I just looked at him like he was crazy. He started laughing and said we had been married too long already because that is something I used to say to him and he was the one just dumping it in the trash. I think its cute that we are taking on eachothers quirks. But if he starts to pluck his eyebrows we are in deep trouble.

On the baby making front we are still working toward our little one. This last month I actually could tell when i was ovulating and was super excited. I had bough these ovulation sticks you pee on to test if your LH level is increased and I got the happy dark blue lines to confirm it! I even kept it so in the am I would have proof I didn't just dream it up. I still have my appointment with the Gyno to check on infertility and make sure everything is all good down there but at least I know I have ovulated and thats not the issue.

Because I want a baby so bad I keep having all these baby dreams. Last night my dream was about J.R. our son(Junior after John). He was so stinking cute. And apparently he weighted 10lbs 10oz when he was born... Why did I have to have an enormous baby in my dream...That is not what I want in reality so I hope thats not a premonition. In any case I gave birth and basically it was like a balloon popping. It was like Pop! Heres your baby! I like that idea, no pain or pushing. Anyways we realized that the baby came so soon so we didn't have a carseat and we didn't have anything ready so I had to drive with the newborn baby on my lap to go buy a carseat. And I was super upset because he came before I could have a baby shower. AKA I want a baby shower sooner than 9months. It was actually a very vivid dream and had lots of vivid details and people from my life all present. Hmmm... pregnant? we shall see soon enough.

Honestly I really want to get pregnant but at the same time i try not to think about when my period is due because then I just get my hopes up and its usually late. Like 2 days last time and 5 days a few times before. So i just try to not look at the calendar in my office that has it marked. Which may be bad because then I forget things....

Ah I feel like I just thought vomited everything on to my blog! Have fun reading through it.

I might have to hurt someone

So the Qwest turmoil continues. I have now spoken to about 7 different people on 7 different occasions to try and get my internet and home phone turned on at my new apartment. Ironically each time I talk to them they tell me that the last person messed up and some error they have never heard of happened. And then of course they say that they take full responsibility for it and they will fix it and everything will be up and running by the next day. We are on day 6 of this now where it was supposed to be turned on 5 yesterdays past now. Yes I know that didn't make sense but what am I supposed to do with this crap. Pardon the potty mouth. My grandpa is letting me use his office as my make shift replacement for now. I just hooked up my computer base to his monitor and keypad and am now working. However it is way too slow and I have nothing productive to do except this blog. So I am trying to be productive in my own right.

Other than that drama that has consumed my energy, emotion, and stamina, our apartment looks fabulous. My aunt Summer saved the day yet again and has decorated our entire apartment. I dont know what I would do without her. Probably go insane. Its nice to have someone you are so insync with, someone to just get you. Well a someone not married to me. However we joke that its actually John Summer and me in our marriage. I always find it hilarious that when I say I am hanging out with my aunt everyone assumes she is 50 and when she says she is hanging out with her niece they assume I am ten. If you go down 13 one way and up 13 the other way then its about right.

All we need now in our apartment is our table and chairs. And I desperately need a new office chair. I have been using our recliner but I found the best place for it and I dont want to end up breaking it from work which I will probably do since I am accident prone.

Accident prone, no concept of time, and bossy. That will be on my tomb stone for sure. Just kidding.

Oh and John started his training for his ForkLift Certification yesterday!!! we are so excited! This means that when he is fully certified he will start working at a better paying job and we will be moving toward our goals of getting out of debt, paying off student loans and our car and saving up lots of money to go to Samoa and getting a house. We plan on moving his family from Samoa to here with us.

Lots of new adventures coming up though! Im excited and super stoked for the rest of our lives. Its now been 7 months of marriage bliss. We have had our struggles but man oh man I love my husband!

sittin in my beanbag chair.

Moving day was a piece of cake. We got everything moved in only a few hours. Most all my boxes have been unloaded and their contents put in their rightful place. We love the new apartment and really feel at home there. I put up most of our decorations which help to bring in that homey feel.

The crap that hit the fan with the move was on saturday. When I switched over the internet and phone services to the new home I had it set up to be done on Saturday. Well the qwest guy who I dealt with online totally needs a good whoopin because he didn't finish the order so it was put on hold and i wont have the internet at our new place until they resolve it. For now I am sitting on my bean bag chair in my old apartment with my monitor on a moving box and my keyboard on my lap and mouse on another box. Lets just say that it is very ironic and very ridiculous I have to deal with this right now. But I will have a funny story later. Thats the silver lining I think. Oh wait and I was on time for work today.

Everyone should be grateful I just talk to people all day because I seriously fall asleep while at work in between calls (like for 1-2min at a time). Because if I had a different job where ppl relied on me like a bus driver, surgeon, or heavy machinery operator... we would all be in trouble.

So hears to Bean Bags and hard cold floors... and to memories being made and slept through :)

Embarrassing moment after the fact.

Today was a very productive Wednesday. I usually hate my split work week with having Sunday and Wednesday off but with the moving coming up on Friday it actually worked to my advantage.

I woke up at a decent hour and went to my Girls Camp Leadership meeting and did lots of constructive planning and had yummy oven baked pancakes. Oh my heck they were awesome. I definitely need to get that recipe. After that I went and had lunch with John and Summer. Then shopping at DI when I was supposed to be packing. I went to fife to grab some boxes from a lady who just moved out of our ward. Managed to fit all the boxes in just about every corner of my van.

Came home and unpacked said boxes and went to visit with my friend Kim and her twins who were in town visiting. Played with the twins and even got a smile out of them. I haven't seen Kim in forever. We have been friends ever since I moved here to WA.  That was 10 years ago. First friend actually. We went for a walk and saw some people from our old ward where we grew up.

Drove down the block and went to visit Megan and Chris and baby Brennan and Brindle-the dog. First thing that Megan says to me when she sees me is "is that a hickey on your neck?" And yes my friends I had a huge gigantic hickey on my neck which John gave me as I refused to wake up in the morning when he was leaving. He knows how embarrassing they are and he thinks they are funny. I just happened to forget all about the said hickey at my meeting this morning and when I went to get boxes and when I visited with kim, her mom, and other elderly members of my ward including my orthodontist and young women's president. I was so embarrassed! I remembered how with each of them they asked how my marriage was going and were pleased to see I was happy. But of course no one mentioned it until I see my friend Megan who is like a sister to me and points it out which is just like her and me.

But then the story gets better. Brennan was super upset because he is teething and wont stop crying unless he is drinking from his bottle. When i got there he was on his second bottle. The boy is a good eater. So as I am holding him and being the favorite auntie Moriah he begins to let his bowels go. Not a poopy diaper just lots of gas. John calls and his ring tone is of course from Sir Mix-a-lot "I like big butts and I cannot lie." After answering he reminds me that my aunt is waiting at my apartment to pack with me and I am of course late. Nothing new there. In the middle of our conversation Brennan projectile vomits the entire last bottles contents all over me. I just looked down and said very directly to John, "I will call you right back, something just came up." Of course there is barely any of the puke on Brennan. In fact I think it was comparable to someone pouring a bottle of milk down my front.

I had baby puke all up my sweatshirt, in my shorts (yes I mean in) and down my side. Megan couldn't stop laughing and Chris was mortified. Megan I am sure has had the projectile vomit and this was not the first time it had happened to me. Megan said to Brennan, "Its a good thing Auntie Moriah loves you so much because that was just so nasty." Oh good times.

So coming home with puke down my front I stopped to grab treats for Summer and John as retribution for my lateness again. I think it may be a problem when everyone will ask me when they should expect to see me and then always preface it with, "I know you have no concept of time...." Maybe I should get on that. I think I will start tomorrow or maybe next week. No one said I was a procrastinator tho right?

So with almost everything in our apartment packed we are ready to move out on Friday. I have all the clothes pretty much washed and the baby puke taken care of. I love being able to laugh at the ridiculousness of life and enjoy the simple things.

Holy Freaking Insoles Batman!

I was so proud of myself because I went to the gym on my break during work and without someone pushing me. With my old classic iPod I began to walk on the treadmill. Not five minutes into it my feet were killing me. And I don't just mean they ached because i haven't used them in a while. Like I wanted to sit down and massage them they hurt so bad. I had planned on doing a 5K walk because I am training for a 5K run thats in September. I kept pushing myself to go a little farther. I eventually compromised with myself and settled for 1.5 miles instead of the full 5K. I was so ticked. Then I remembered this shoe salesman tell me that the shoes we buy aren't intended for us to use their insoles. With Nike at lease he said that was the case. not sure if it was for every shoe ever made. I have never really bought insoles since I always am the one to walk around in the shoe and make sure it feels "good" before buying it. So I dashed over to Fred Meyer and read their shoe insole chart and picked out a few to try based on their notes. I freaking thought I was walking on clouds. My feet still hurt but it felt so much better. I want to be able to walk long distances and not feel like my feet are holding me back. 

When I compared the 'natural' insoles in my old worn out shoes and the new ones I purchased I was embarrassed. The ones that came with the shoe were practically as thin as a piece of paper. i was walking on the hard bottom of the shoe which of course meant my feet hated me. it could also be why my back is always hurting so freaking bad. 

I can't wait to go back to the gym tomorrow and try them out. Maybe even later tonight I can walk with the hubby. PS I am planning this exercise while sitting at work eating Chips Ahoy cookies made with Reese's! Sorry but its Period Comfort food and I feel better eating my four cookies and drinking my crystal light water/juice.